Understanding and Managing Your Emotional Triggers

By Kelly Bearer, MA, LPC, ACHT

Maybe you wonder what's really going on when you feel like certain events push your buttons. Take control of your emotional triggers by increasing your awa

Maybe you wonder what’s really going on when you feel like certain events push your buttons. Take control of your emotional triggers by increasing your awareness and developing new ways of responding. Understanding Your Emotional Triggers 1. Learn the definition of triggers. A trigger is an experience that draws us back into the past and causes old feelings and behaviors to arise. An ice cream sandwich may remind you of summer vacations or gossiping coworkers could bring back images of high school cliques. 2. Spot external prompts. Some triggers are situational and social. Many people tend to eat more at holiday gatherings. If your spouse is tense, it may affect your own mood. 3. Identify internal causes. Over time, anything can be internalized. Even when you’re surrounded by loved ones, you may be carrying around old conflicts that interfere with your ability to live in the present moment. 4. Realize we all have triggers. Much of the literature about triggers focuses on addictions. It’s important to remember that memory plays a powerful role in all our lives. 5. Accept individual differences. If you’re startled by loud noises that your spouse fails to notice, you’ve seen how differently people react to the same stimulus. Taking such variety into account improves communications and relationships. Managing Your Emotional Triggers 1. Keep a journal. Tracking your triggers is often the first step in mastering them. It might be helpful to keep a log of occasions when you experience intense emotions or engage in behavior you want to change. Note what’s going on in your head and in your surroundings at the time. 2. Challenge yourself. The key to change is placing yourself in difficult positions and being open to doing something new and more constructive. If worrying about money is keeping you up at night, call your creditors to arrange payment plans. 3. Know your capacity. Proceed at your own pace. Start out by being more assertive with...